Nurturing Connections in Relationships
In this era of ultra-connectedness through our phones and devices, it can be difficult to pause and catch up. And as we’re flying through our lists, errands, and checking off to-dos, our relationships and connections with others can take a back seat. Somehow being more connected all day long can leave us feeling less connected and lonely. Our relationships might need some TLC. Today we’re taking a deeper dive into our relationships and sharing some ideas we can put into practice to help grow and maintain our connections to others.
Dedicated Family Time
It can be really hard to break out of routine! Some days you might roll out of bed with that groundhog day feeling; same routine, same drop offs and pickups, same errands. As children grow and extracurricular activities and peer relationships take on more importance, it can feel like family members are passing ships, never coming together at the same time. Consider scheduling some family time together. Use your planner and block time each week for the family to be together.
For families of small children, set aside some time to be in nature. A walk through a nature preserve or even a walk in the neighborhood invigorates everyone. Older kids might enjoy a night time walk with a flashlight and a list of things to look for.
Consider scheduling one on one time with your child. Solo time and one parent’s full attention can be thrilling for a kid. Allow your child to pick the restaurant or activity.
For parents of teenagers, one on one time can also provide a great chance to connect. Shop for some of their favorite snacks together, grab a special smoothie or drink at a cafe. Or consider getting out of your comfort zone and trying something they love to do.
Schedule a family dinner night as often as possible. Ditch your devices, turn on some music, light some candles and relax together. Leave nagging and scheduling conversations for another time and just focus on being together.
Caring for your Partner
When was the last time you connected with your partner without distraction? If you have toddlers or babies you might answer, “Without distraction? What’s that?” It can be easy to let inertia lead the way and flow through your routine without pausing to remember each other. But as the days compound on each other, that lack of care and attention can build toward feeling disconnected. Being conscious of each other and truly putting in time for quality connection will help you feel closer and stronger.
Practice positivity. Even on your toughest day, when you reunite with your partner, begin by sharing some positives from your day. Encourage them to share theirs.
In the morning, embrace each other. As humans we need physical connection and in our hurry to make lunches and get out the door, we can forget how much we need it. Pause and embrace before your day begins.
Encourage your partner to connect with their peers and make time to recharge outside the home. Honor yourself to do the same. Schedule time to see friends and nurture those relationships. You will feel refreshed coming back together again.
Show your appreciation. Say thank you often and likewise actively look for ways to help your partner. If there is a chore your partner despises, consider taking over that one for them.
Be intentional with alone time. Turn off devices and focus on each other. That might mean playing a game, taking a walk, listening to music, cooking breakfast, or reading a book together.
In difficult times, don’t rush to conclusions and blame. Listen first without becoming defensive. Acknowledge your partner’s perspective and feelings. Express your feelings clearly and honestly. Practice forgiveness as you are ready.
When you’re compelled to criticize your partner think to yourself, “Is it necessary?” “Is it helpful?” “Is it kind?”
Being a Good Friend
Friendships are vital to our connections with the outside world. They provide us a safe place to gather and be our true selves. But as we juggle multiple priorities, our friendships can suffer. Make an effort to stay connected to your friends.
Long catch up phone calls can be overwhelming and hard to fit in. Try texting a friend and asking if she has time for a quick, 10-minute check in. A short call is easier to schedule and may set the trend of happening more often.
Underpromise and overdeliver. Only take on what you know you can do. Follow through on your commitments to your friends. If you make plans, try and honor them by showing up. If someday you are in a time of need, your friends will be all the more likely to show up for you.
Don’t engage in gossip. Keep things honest and positive without putting others down.
Find ways to help your friends and show gratitude for them. If you’re cooking a meal, consider doubling and dropping off half for them. If you can help with carpooling or lift a burden for them, offer to do and schedule it.
Run boring errands together. Grocery shopping and post office runs will be way more fun!
Set a weekly exercise date. It could be a walk in the neighborhood, a hike in the woods, or trying a new exercise class together.
We want to hear from you! How do you nurture your relationships?