Slowing Down and Simplifying
Do you ever feel unfocused and pulled in 100 directions at once? That you have so much to do you’re overwhelmed and it’s impossible to do even one thing? It could be a sign that you need a pause. Have you ever left a pot of eggs on the stove to hard boil and forgotten about them while you switched laundry, made doctor appointments, and started organizing a closet? Only to return to find exploded eggs all over the kitchen? No? Speaking from personal experience, I would not recommend it. If you can relate to any of this you might be moving too fast and furiously through your day and you might need to slow down a little. As a recovering overscheduler, doer, multitasker, and wearer of 1000 hats, today I’m sharing some tips that have helped me slow down and focus on fewer, better things.
Identify the Top Three
In the morning, I write down the three main tasks I need to tackle in my day. These can be little things or big things, but they are the three main things I need to check off the list. This helps focus my attention and also helps me realize I don’t need to check off 25 things to be productive. Whenever time comes to actually dig into tasks, I try to start with the one I dread the most. Just knock it out before you can procrastinate your way out of it. If this routine appeals to you, utilize the Priorities section on your Weekly or Daily layout in your planner (Ps. The Post It box is another great spot to list your top three tasks).
Walking
When we were living through the strange covid days I fell in love with walking. I’ve always enjoyed walking or had short walks sprinkled through my days thanks to our energetic dog. But during covid when my kids were home doing remote school, my walks became a balm to the stressful, anxiety-filled days. Sometimes I’d bring headphones and listen to an audiobook or a playlist. Other times I’d skip and just listen to the sounds of my neighborhood.
Walking has been incredibly healing to me. When I’m stressed or distracted or restless or bored, walking is the cure. I return calmer and energized. What started as 15 minute walks has turned into hour (or hours!) long walks. I buckle on my cool fanny pack and lace up my sneakers and go. When you can do it, I encourage you to walk. If where you live allows, walk your errands. Start with 20 minutes and build from there. Trust me when I say it is addictive. It’s also great exercise and fits in perfectly when you’re on vacation or traveling to a new place. It’s a great way to hit pause on your day. Everything else can wait.
Disconnecting
If your quick check of texts and emails on your phone turns into 30 minutes+ of scrolling and swiping, may I suggest hitting pause on your social media apps? Going cold turkey wasn’t working for me, so instead I give myself an intentional 10-15 minutes to scroll my phone and laugh at silly videos, bookmark recipes, connect with friends, and then I get off the apps. I enjoy my scroll time in the morning after I get my kids off to school and then I say goodbye to the apps for the day. I put a rubberband around my phone to remind me to stay off of it.
If you decide to take an intentional break, it’s going to feel strange. When you’re the only person not scrolling in the waiting room, you might feel a little awkward and have the itch to grab your phone. But suddenly you’ll also feel the gift of time. You’ll feel less harried and busy and suddenly you’ll have stretches of time in your day unlocked. This time is a gift! Put it towards the things you’ve thought you didn’t have time for (learning a new instrument, meditating, writing letters, zoning out for a 10 minute cat nap?)!
Being Present
You know those friends who text you before a big day to wish you luck? The ones who remember you don’t like raw onions on your sandwich or your favorite go to movie to watch on a rainy day? These people are great listeners. They are present in conversation. They aren’t anticipating how they are going to respond, or scrolling on their phones. They are simply listening. I want to be this person to others; to my friends, my family, my partner, and especially my kids. Giving others your complete attention and presence of mind is the greatest respect you can show them. When you are in conversation, simply listen. Devote yourself to being an active listener. Don’t think about interjecting your opinion or what you’ll say in return. Make eye contact, ask good questions, and simply be there fully present. Making the effort to do this with my kids has been so impactful on our relationships. They don’t always need me to solve their problems. Being heard is the respect they deserve and models what I hope to get from them too!
Finding the Pressure Points
Do you return to the same issues over and over again? Do you have the same arguments with your family members or find yourself frustrated with the same tasks over and over again? Stop and reevaluate. Is there a better way to tackle the issue? After multiple mornings of my kids stressed because they’d forgotten to plug in school devices before bed, we finally set up a little charging corner in our home. The kids dock their devices after homework is complete and we aren’t frantically searching for a cord at 9pm or dealing with a dead ipad in the morning. Identify the stress points you keep returning to and get creative with problem solving. Get out ahead of the stressors and give yourself a little pocket of peace and time in your day.
As I’m getting older I’m finding it easier to let things go and to give myself a little grace. It’s rare I’m going to be doing it all, or perfectly right all of the time. That’s okay. My house will not be sparkling clean everyday, my to-do list empty, my deadlines clear. There will always be more I could do but it doesn’t always mean I should. Like me, you might need to let a few things go too. You might need a walk. You might need an hour with an old friend. In the end, what will matter most? I hope you can find a moment to slow down this week.