Finding and Building Joy in Your Everyday
Years ago on a family trip to Australia, we stayed in a beautifully converted old fishing shack. The house had been updated with cozy furnishings and sat high in the cliffs overlooking a beautiful bay. While initially exploring the house I found an old rusted sign on the door jamb that read, “Never get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” I have thought of this phrase often since that trip. It’s such a good reminder in our current rush to get things done quickly, our focus to work as efficiently as possible, and to keep up on the constant to-dos. Even on this blog we often offer advice for saving time and effort in our lives. And while saving time and working efficiently on crossing off our to-dos are important, it’s also good to remember we can do those things and slow down too. That there are times when it’s better to let things go, to pause and savor moments, and ultimately, not to let life slip past as we go, go, go. Today we’re pausing to remind you (and us) to find the joy in our everyday lives and sharing tips for appreciating and building more goodness in our day to day.
Expectations of Our Days
Do you get to the end of your day and feel overwhelmed? Like you couldn’t get everything done or you have too much on your plate? Take some time to map out your perfect everyday routine. What would that day look like? Go through every minute of your day and map it out. It helps to write it down. Now assess what roadblocks are within your control to tackle to reach your ideal. Highlight the non-negotiable parts of your day that make you happiest. Focus your energy on those parts of your day and get creative with the less appealing parts of your day. Have an awful commute to work or do you loathe the laundry? How could you improve that task? Maybe it’s bringing a favorite drink in the car or burning a favorite candle. Maybe you pick a new audiobook to listen to while completing the dreaded tasks. Find ways to infuse the dreary with a little pick me up. I used to loathe the dishes. Now I use dish duty time to clean the dreaded dishes and listen to a funny podcast.
Simple Pleasures
What are your favorite simple moments in your day to day living? I love waking up before the rest of the house stirs to make a coffee and sit in the quiet. For a moment no one needs me and I can just be. I also love to get out midday for a walk with the dog and to listen to a favorite podcast or playlist. No matter what the weather, this daily ritual makes me so grateful to be living. If you struggle to pause to take joy in the simple moments of your day, it can be harder to find joy in the bigger moments of life. You may find yourself in an endless pattern of wishing for or wanting more. Focus on what you have at this moment. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to move ahead, but pause and bask in the goodness of what is already at your fingertips. Take joy in the simplest moments.
Small Moments
Celebrate the small achievements in your day. This might mean jotting down a highlight or what you’re grateful for in your planner. In our house we have a little box with some colorful scraps of paper and a pen nearby. Week to week when something memorable strikes us, we record it on a piece of paper and put it in the box. Last night I worked on Legos with my youngest and it was such a cozy, lovely 30 minutes together, I wrote about it briefly and stuck it in the box. This box fills up throughout the year and then sometime during the first week of January, we empty the box and read the entries aloud, laughing about and reliving moments throughout the year. Find ways to record the best, small moments of your day. Use your planner or notebook or create a memory box for your house.
Service to Others
One of the quickest ways to feel more connected and build more joy, is to give to others. Find a way to show up for others that works for you. This will all depend on the season of life you are in. Sometimes we are in a deeper state of needing to receive care ourselves, while at other times, we have the capacity to give more. When you can give, get plugged into your community. Find an organization that aligns with your passions. Giving personal time to a cause outside of ourselves gets us out of our comfort zones and challenges us to work with others, and assist where we are needed. We build empathy and understanding for others. We can appreciate and learn new ways to tackle problems and build friendships.
Positive Thoughts
We’ve heard a lot about positive affirmations over the last few years. That we should come up with our own personal affirmations and pull ourselves out of tough times by repeating them. If I’m being honest, this approach hasn’t worked for me. I haven’t been able to stand in front of the mirror and talk to myself seriously. But I’ve also found being a little kinder to myself has helped me build self-confidence and feel more secure. If you’re on your way to meeting a goal and find you are not where you want to be, focus on what you’ve accomplished so far. Remind yourself how you’ve shown up already and identify the small ways you can keep going. I like to give myself little pep talks and follow the five minute rule. I tell myself I can do anything for five minutes, so if there’s something I’ve been putting off, I make myself commit to it for five minutes. Often just getting started is the hardest part. Usually after five minutes, I can keep going.
More than anything, know when to give yourself a break! Allow yourself time for rest and recharging. Even during a busy day, carve time to provide yourself basic self-care. You will better show up for others and yourself when you show kindness to yourself first. Think of the ways you would treat your best friend, how you would view this friend’s accomplishments and failures. Show yourself the same kind of support. Ask for help when you need it, pause when you need it, and give yourself a break.
Getting connected to yourself, showing kindness to yourself and others, and pausing to breathe in and appreciate the small moments of your life will help bring more joy and love into your life. We’d love to hear from you about the ways you find joy and connection in your everyday life. What are you grateful for today? What brings you happiness and joy? How do you build connection with yourself and others? Tell us below in the comments!