How to Support Others In Times of Need
No matter who you are or what your circumstances, there seems to be at least one common denominator in life and that is that we, as humans, need one another. This seems especially true in times of change or hardship. It’s in these times that we can really show our love and support for one another. Here are some ideas on how to help in times of need, whether it be a postpartum mother, a grieving family, or a sick friend.
The postpartum period can be both joyful and difficult for a mother, whether it’s her first baby or one of many children. Sleep deprivation, hormonal fluctuations, and the demands of caring for a newborn can leave mothers feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. Some things that have helped me and other mothers I know are:
Provide home-cooked meals - Not having to think about feeding herself or her family takes a mental load off. It also frees her time to rest, recover, and spend time with her new baby or family.
Order in food or provide food delivery gift cards- If cooking is not your forte or you’re also busy, ordering food or providing gift cards to restaurants or food delivery services like DoorDash or Grubhub are a great way to still provide a meal.
Sit and visit - Sometimes just having an adult to chat with or a listening ear can help lessen stress and remind them of their own humanity.
Offer to hold the baby - If they’re okay with it, offer to hold the new baby. Not only does it show love and care for them, but having free hands and arms can feel like a respite when you’ve been holding a newborn seemingly nonstop.
Offer to clean or provide another service, like babysitting or rides for other children- Depending on your relationship, you could offer to come help clean, or to watch their other children, or the newborn, so she can get some rest. Also, helping with rides to and from school for older children or to other extracurriculars can be a huge relief.
Through the death of a loved one, the same acts of service can also apply. However, there’s an added measure of grief and sadness that may be hard for the grieving person to navigate. In my own family we recently lost two close family members. Through that time, having others reach out and share their own experiences, condolences, and stories were both uplifting and comforting. Attending or even organizing memorial services, speaking of the loved ones, and allowing the grieving person to share their emotions are all helpful ways of offering support and love during an unimaginably hard time.
Illness, accident, or recovery are some other of life’s many challenges. Again, offering meals, spending time with the injured or infirmed so that their primary caregiver can get some free time, offering to run errands, spending time with the caregiver and allowing them to talk or even just watch a movie together, are just some ways to offer support and friendship.
It's important to remember that everyone copes with hardships differently, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to offering support. Listening without judgment, respecting boundaries (including your own), and being patient and empathetic are also key to supporting others. Additionally, it's important to prioritize self-care when supporting others through difficult times. You cannot draw from a dry well.
Supporting others need not be expensive, complicated, or unnatural. There are countless ways to reach out to our neighbors, friends, and even people we hardly know, and to lift them. Words of kindness or understanding, a note, a treat, or any other way to let them know you’re thinking of them can mean a world of difference for those who are struggling or who just need a little support. After all, as George Eliot said, “What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”