Simplifying Summer
Summer break can be a time for relaxation, play and connection with loved ones. It can also be rife with stress, expectations and to-do’s. Especially if you’re a parent, there might be a feeling of pressure to make the summer magical for your children. If this has been the predominant feeling in your home, here are some tips to make the next few weeks of summer feel intentional and satisfying rather than exhausting.
Rethink the Bucket List
Bucket lists can be a fun way to get families excited for the summer. They can also get children involved in the planning process, which is a great way to build a sense of ownership and togetherness within your own home! However, if the bucket list begins to become a burden rather than a benefit, it may be time to rethink it.
Examining your motivations is a great way to weed out what may be causing stress and to realign with your actual desires and goals. Ask yourself, Why is this on the list? Is it something we feel like we should do or have to do because of some outward influence? Is it because I’ve seen other parents online or on social media doing similar things? Is it because I’m afraid I’ll disappoint my kids? If it’s driven by guilt or outside influences and it’s causing stress, then it might be an indication to just let it go and focus on something else.
Adjust Expectations
Just because the calendar reads June, July or August doesn’t mean that real-life stops and every day needs to be filled with fun and magic. Just because the sun is shining and it’s hot outside doesn’t mean there aren’t both good moments and hard moments going on within the walls of our homes.
Maybe you’re a working/work-from-home parent and the schedule just doesn’t always allow for extended vacations, pool days, and the nonstop fun that kids might expect from a summer “break.” It might be helpful to pinpoint what you really want to get out of the summer or what you want your children to get out of it and discuss that with them.
For example, summer can be a time to instill certain values in your children (ie: team work through chores, entrepreneurship through starting a summer business, service through neighbor outreach, creativity through crafting, etc). Just because school is out of session doesn’t mean kids have to stop learning.
And if that all sounds like too much, then evaluate what you think you can realistically do and what your ultimate goals are for your family. The purpose of summer is not to add more to your plate! Summer should serve you as a parent too, and you get to weigh what is most important for your family.
Recognize Wins Big and Small
Often we can get caught up on what we lack instead of what we have and how we’re failing instead of what we’re doing right. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to recognize:
1) the fun things you’ve gotten to do, whether that’s as simple as taking a walk or hike together as a family, going on a sno cone run, having a movie night, etc. rather than focusing on what you haven’t done or what others are doing with their summers, and
2) how you’re winning as a family, whether that’s a sibling helping another sibling, a child voluntarily doing a chore, or everyone consciously putting away devices at the end of the night to connect with each other. However big or small the positives may be, try to take note of them. Write them down or verbalize them to help your kids see the wins too!
If you’re like my family, we’re already halfway through the summer break, and it’s had its ups and downs. Hopefully, in the next few remaining weeks, we can live intentionally and simply in order to reconsider what making the most of summer actually means. Perhaps it’s not about making the most of it at all—wringing every last drop of fun out of it—but making the best of it and making it the best, however that may look for our family. Here’s to making the best of the small, beautiful, sometimes frustrating moments that make up our day-to-day lives—summer or not!