Party Planning Cheat Sheet: 10 Tips for Stress-Free Holiday Dinners

I LOVE a dinner party. I especially love hosting a dinner party. I especially especially love hosting a holiday dinner party. Sometimes, I enjoy the planning as much as the actual event. (Shhhh. Don’t tell my family!) But that said, it can still be a journey. If you’re up to your neck in holiday party planning, here are 10 holiday hosting mantras to help you keep calm and dinner on.


1. Write it down. I’m a visual person and if I don’t write things down, I’ll forget. It also helps me stay organized and allows me to delegate more easily. (You want to know how to help, look at this list!)

If your Golden Coil notebook is planning command central, the “Events” spread has everything you need. There’s space to outline your menu, shopping list, decor, and to-dos. 

I also like the “Meeting notes” spread. It’s a little unconventional, but bear with me, a holiday meal is a meeting of sorts. Right? There’s a space for notes, a to-do list and also a dot grid where I can sketch out my tablescape. Regardless of your notebook of choice, make your list and check it twice. 


2. Know your audience. Ultimately, a holiday meal is about bringing together the people that bring joy to your world. I do my best to plan holiday meals so that everyone can feel included and at ease. Creating a meal that everyone can enjoy is always a sticking point so I try to find out dietary preferences ahead of time and create a menu where everyone at the table can eat at least 75% of the spread. If you’re welcoming guests after a long day of travel or work, they’ll undoubtedly appreciate being able to have a nosh before the main event. And having a few kid-friendly treats on hand never hurt!


3. Know your limits. I’m always trying to do the most. I want to cook an incredible meal, build a beautiful tablescape, and look effortless while doing it. But let’s face it, hosting takes work and emotional energy, and sometimes we just don’t have that much to give. I especially feel guilty when I overcommit and underdeliver, so I’ve learned to set boundaries with myself and prioritize. If the priority is mind-blowing decor, I’ll invite guests to something potluck style or order in. If my priority is to spend time with family instead of in the kitchen, I’ll create a menu around food that can be eaten cold or at room temperature, and that I can prepare ahead. You do you.


4. Ask for help. Sometimes I get attached to a vision that I just can’t shake. If this sounds like you, get a helping hand. Having it all doesn’t mean having to do it all. Enlist to a friend to bring dessert or your favorite uncle to craft the playlist. 


5. Borrow what you don’t have. Before you buy something, check in with friends. The environment and your already cramped kitchen storage will thank you. And ask around about reusing centerpieces. I hosted a post-Thanksgiving birthday dinner for my partner and a friend lent me her turkey day bouquets. It saved a pretty penny and took one more to-do off my list. 


6. Make it beautiful. But make it functional. I’m a sucker for a tablescape. I was at a gorgeous New Year’s Eve dinner with some of the most beautiful floral centerpieces I had ever seen. Although beautiful, they were SO massive we had to dramatically tilt one way or the other to have conversations with the folks across the table. Aesthetics should add to the experience, not distract from it. Or be hazardous. Candelabras within reach of a toddler? Probably a no-no. 


7. Do a run through. Sometimes our party planning visions aren’t equipped to become reality. I like to try out my visions ahead of time so I have a better sense of what I need and double-check that I actually have it. We don’t need anyone getting in a tizzy over a lost gravy boat!


8. Put a twist on traditions. There’s something comforting about doing the same thing year after year, but if you’re hosting, do things your way!  Take my mother, for example. She loves blueberry Jell-O. It’s at every holiday dinner table. I’m not a Jell-O stan, so when we gather at my house, its a blueberry trifle. We take the best of what we both love and it’s a win-win. 


9. Add a personal touch. Whether it’s personalized place cards or a speciality drink, little touches can make the biggest impact. 


10. Give yourself some grace. One year, I made two-dozen servings of clotted cream to go alongside my mother-in-law’s famous scones. Of course, I managed to drop the tray which left me both embarrassed and defeated. As my mother-in-law saw my eyes welling up, she laughed out a “don’t cry over spilled milk.” Facts. We’re all just doing our best, so remember to give yourself a little grace. 



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